Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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