Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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