He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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