the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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