you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
