Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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