He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
