can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
