FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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