hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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