i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
