Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
