I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do vagina's smell?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
