and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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