I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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