Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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