I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
