Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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