Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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