did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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