her vagine was all disorganized.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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