ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
