I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
