Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
