just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
