It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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