I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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