just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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