Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want to have your abortion
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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