No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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