and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
