i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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