and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
