I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
