Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
