Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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