dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
