just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
