WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
