I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
