I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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