do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
