hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
