I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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