Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
