is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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