i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
