I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
