All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
