I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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